Dear Body...

Dear Vagina,

I miss seeing you. I really hope you still exist somewhere down there. Hell, you could probably go on vacation and I wouldn't even notice. Also, I apologize for the lack of "tending" you have received...both in the grooming aspect and the sexual one. I also apologize for the fact that I'm going to shove a human being out of you in a couple months.

Love, Reida.


Dear Feet,

I don't see you when I'm standing up anymore. I miss you! I will paint and clip your nails sometime before April, I promise...

Love, Reida

Dear Boobs,

Please stop leaking. It's really gross and not necessary yet. Also, while I do enjoy your new size, you are extremely heavy and you look funny. If you could do anything about any of these things, please do so soon.

Love, Reida

Dear Skin,

STOP BREAKING OUT AND BEING DRY.

Love, Reida

Dear Hair,

I love you now. Please don't ever change. <3

Love muchly, Reida

Dear Belly,

I apologize for what I'm putting you through right now. But please, lets keep the stretchies to a minimum, k? It'll be over soon, I promise! And someday, I will lay upon you again! Also, please quit with the high calorie cravings!!!

Love, Reida

Dear Butt,

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? I mean...come on...pooing at least SOMETIMES would be nice!
Also, I like the new size, but please be more perky.

Love, Reida

Dear Bladder,

You are more than welcome to take a break any time. I know there's an angry midget kicking at you constantly, but please. Lets give it a rest.

Love, Reida

Dear Body in General,

I am so very very sorry. Please go back to how you were someday. I love you!

Love, Reida