Well, little Ashe has arrived! She came on April 14th, at 2:34PM! She was 7lbs, 12oz and 20 inches long :)

Now there will be fair warning...this post....it will be somewhat graphic. I like sharing intimate moments with strangers, so ya know.
Don't say I didn't warn you.

So if you dare continue...
here is...
Ashe's Birth Story


All day on the 13th I'd been feeling horrible. Tired...sick...contractiony. Nothing out of the ordinary for being 9 months pregnant...but a little more extreme. I didn't think anything of it. I'd come to terms with the fact that I was going to be pregnant forever, and would never ever go into labor.
Around midnight, I started getting painful back contractions. Like...really painful. It felt like a horse had kicked me in the back, but only for a few seconds. They were really inconsistent. 12 minutes apart here, 4 minutes apart there, 7 minutes apart here...you get the picture.
So I suffered through them for about 4 hours, then they started becoming more and more regular, and more and more painful. At 3:30ish we called the doctor, and were told to come in once they were 5 minutes apart for 1 hour. Ok. At about 4:40, the pain became so intense that I couldn't even focus to time them anymore., so I ran myself a bath and hopped in, because that usually helped my braxton hicks contractions...it didn't help at all. I got out of the bath, and came out and told my dad, who had just woken up, what was happening. Woke up Tyler again, and told him we needed to leave. Grabbed my to-go bag, Tyler showered, and I paced around, cursing and somewhat yelling during each contraction. At one point I bitched to my dad that Tyler was "taking the longest fucking shower ever." I was then informed that he had been in the shower for about 6 minutes. Woops. :)
So he gets out of the shower, throws his stuff into the to-go bag, I wait to have another contraction so I can pace through it, and we leave, driving up El Dorado Ave. at approx 50-60MPH because I was freaking out so bad, because I didn't want to have another contraction while sitting in the car. :( We almost beat it, but as we pulled into the Family Birth Center parking lot, I had one. So I freaked out in the car and parking lot before heading inside. We walk up to the registration counter and the lady looks at me and asks "How can I help you?".
REALLY?! How the FUCK do you think you can help me?! Get me my epidural, bitch!
And by that, I mean I said "Uh I think I'm in labor."
Got taken to triage, peed in a cup, got gown on, freaked out about being hooked up to the monitors and not able to move through the contractions. Got hooked up, told contractions were 2 minutes apart and a minute long. Ow. Got my cervix checked, and was already dilated to 5CM! Halfway there!
I was so glad that I was /actually/ progressing, but at the time I was terrified my contractions would stop and they would send me home. I don't even think they can send you home if your 5CM, but hey, I wasn't thinking clearly.
The nurse left for a minute and came back, told me I was getting put into a room. Another nurse came in and she helped me walk over to room 2801, the same one Vanessa had Jeremy in. Woo! Tyler grabbed all our stuff. While we were walking over I was babbling about how I didn't want them to send me home and I was so glad I wasn't just imagining the pain. She looked at me and said "Well, no, I'm pretty sure it looks like your going to have a baby today."
And then I felt sick. All I said was "Oh my god...oh my god...oh...OWWW THIS HURTS!"

So they get me settled into the room and Tyler put everything away. Everything hurt like a bitch, but was still somewhat "bearable" but getting worse and worse... I asked the nurse to get things going so I could get my epidural, and she said she would, and she checked me again. I was already at 7CM.
This is where things start to get fuzzy, so for anyone that was there, I apologize for inconsistencies...
I believe my parents and Tyler's mom and sister showed up (I don't know who all was there, and really, I didn't care.) and it didn't really bug me at the moment. People kept talking to me and asking questions, which I responded to between contractions that were 2 minutes apart and a minute long...so I had about a minute to talk before I wanted everyone to die again. This kept on for a while, and it seemed like an eternity. The contractions were getting worse and worse, and I really couldn't handle it anymore, and started yelling and cursing. A nurse came in and gave a shot of something, that made me suuuuuper high. Everything still hurt horribly, but I was higher than a kite and didn't care.
Sadly, the happy high feeling left after about 5 minutes, and they couldn't give me any more for some reason, and I hated them for it. I kept asking the nurse if I could have my epidural yet, and she kept telling me "soon" and I wanted to kill her. Not soon enough, bitch. I thik this is about the time Ty's dad showed up, and also about the time I lost it. Each contraction felt like I had a 500lb man jumping up and down on my back. I screamed, and had everyone but Tyler leave. The nurse suggested I try moving around. She had me get on my knees and face the back of the bed, and had Tyler push on my back. She also told me the epidural man (yes, epidural man.) would be to me after he finished with someone in surgery.
It was probably only about 15 or 20 minutes after that that he showed up, but it felt like hours. I know this sounds cheesy, but it was in fact, the worst pain I have ever felt and most likely the worst pain I will ever feel. I was crying hysterically, which wasn't helping. I kept saying "I can't do this, make it stop. I can't do it!" Somehow I DID do it, though, and the epidural man showed up. He was the most amazing person ever.
There were so many people in the room, that when he came in, he had them all clear out. Including Tyler. I started panicking, thinking about the size of the needle they were going to put in my back, and started hysterically crying, and begging for Dr. Rogers to get Tyler for me. He did, and Tyler came back in and calmed me down. :)

From here on out, it was just a waiting game. People came and went while I "labored down" cause Ashe was still high up, and then when I felt pressure, it was time to push.
That wasn't so bad, really. I pushed for about 2 hours, and was joking with my doctors and Tyler the whole time. Tyler almost fainted, (ha!) but I wasn't really that nervous, until the end...and I was so exhausted, I could barely even think, let alone push. I managed to do it, and they handed her to me while Tyler cut the cord...and she was amazing. I can't describe it...
<3

complain.

That's all I do anymore.
Everything is horrid.
I'm sick. My throat is so swollen I can barely breathe. Not to mention I can't breathe out of my nose. Every part of my body ACHES all the time. It hurts horribly every time Ashe decides to readjust. Even her hiccups are painful nowadays.
I have a ton of false labor contractions at least once a day. And they HURT. I can barely stand up, let alone walk. I can't put my own shoes on anymore.
And I don't think I'll believe it when I'm actually in labor.


I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH LONGER.

Damn.

Well, I'm on bedrest. How lame. Ashe tried to come early AGAIN, so now I have some meds to stop contractions, I can't have sex, and I'm not supposed to get out of bed. Joy.

But my baby shower was yesterday! Yay! It was a lot of fun! It was really nice to see all of my friends, seeing as how I never do anything anymore haha.

Ashe is doing well. We picked a middle name, finally. Kennedy :)
She still moves around TONS when I'm trying to sleep. Not so much during the day though. I think she's running out of room. Poor thing!
But I had an ultrasound a couple days ago...she's still a girl, head down so low that they couldn't measure my cervix properly, and weighs 5lb, 10oz at this point (give or take 14 ounces either way). She also has a short femur. Sad day, she got mommy's height. haha.
She kept putting her hand in front of her face during the ultrasound. Then I sneezed, and she turned, looked right at us, then put both of her hands on her head. XD she's silly.
I'm 1cm dilated clear through, and my cervix is starting to thin. I'm highly doubting she'll be a tax day baby. Probably more of an Easter baby, or even a March baby. We'll see :)
I'm also EXTREMELY uncomfortable. It feels like there's a ton of bricks on my cervix, I cramp almost constantly, I'm getting itty bitty stretch marks on my belly, and some bigger ones on my boobs. (Which are a 34C, I might add.) They also leak sometimes. It's really fucking nasty, and does NOT taste good. Yes, I tried it. Fuck you. I can't sleep through the night EVER. I have to pee at LEAST 5 times a night. I get horrible leg cramps and headaches. I see spots all the time and my feet swell up like balloons. But nope, I don't have preeclampsia. My blood pressure is LOW and no protein in my urine. Woot for unexplained everything.

Tyler works at the BK lounge now. Woo!
Andddd...I think that's about it. :)

13

days.

Dear Body...

Dear Vagina,

I miss seeing you. I really hope you still exist somewhere down there. Hell, you could probably go on vacation and I wouldn't even notice. Also, I apologize for the lack of "tending" you have received...both in the grooming aspect and the sexual one. I also apologize for the fact that I'm going to shove a human being out of you in a couple months.

Love, Reida.


Dear Feet,

I don't see you when I'm standing up anymore. I miss you! I will paint and clip your nails sometime before April, I promise...

Love, Reida

Dear Boobs,

Please stop leaking. It's really gross and not necessary yet. Also, while I do enjoy your new size, you are extremely heavy and you look funny. If you could do anything about any of these things, please do so soon.

Love, Reida

Dear Skin,

STOP BREAKING OUT AND BEING DRY.

Love, Reida

Dear Hair,

I love you now. Please don't ever change. <3

Love muchly, Reida

Dear Belly,

I apologize for what I'm putting you through right now. But please, lets keep the stretchies to a minimum, k? It'll be over soon, I promise! And someday, I will lay upon you again! Also, please quit with the high calorie cravings!!!

Love, Reida

Dear Butt,

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? I mean...come on...pooing at least SOMETIMES would be nice!
Also, I like the new size, but please be more perky.

Love, Reida

Dear Bladder,

You are more than welcome to take a break any time. I know there's an angry midget kicking at you constantly, but please. Lets give it a rest.

Love, Reida

Dear Body in General,

I am so very very sorry. Please go back to how you were someday. I love you!

Love, Reida

I am sick...

and tired of this bullshit every goddamn day.

I might as well just go live by myself. We don't talk. We don't do anything. I threaten to leave and you don't even do anything to try and stop me.
I've been sitting here all damn day trying to get SOMETHING out of you. Anything...but I guess I'm just too real.

It's really clear what matters to you, and apparently, we're not a part of this little fantasy world your living in.
I guess all I can do now is sit around and wait for your time to run out.








25 days...

I hate water.

I seriously think if I have to drink one more drop of water, I will scream. :/


I went to the hospital around 5AM yesterday. Again.
Around 1AM, I started throwing up pretty bad. It really sucked, but I just figured it was something I ate. No biggie, right?
Not long afterwords, I got this TERRIBLE pain in my tummy area, that felt like one of those horrid gas bubbles that you get after you eat something your stomach HATES and you just sit there in misery until it goes away. It did NOT feel like any of my BH contractions. Not at all. So I wasn't really worried, just extremely uncomfortable.
Now you should know that I'm one of those people that will do ANYTHING to avoid going to the doctor. I hate the smell, I hate doctors, I hate old people, I hate stupid nurses. I just hate the whole experience.
So after about an hour, the pain started escalating, which I assumed was the "gas bubble" moving. Nope. It just kept getting worse and worse, to the point where I was making weird screaming gurgling noises uncontrollably. (Hawt, I know.) At that point, I was thinking "Okay, time to call the doctor."
Then bam. I was fine. Still uncomfortable, but fine. For about 15 minutes.
And that cycle repeated itself for about four hours. And yeah, I'm retarded and was in denial that it could possibly be contractions. And Tyler kept telling me to call my doctor, but nope. I didn't want to. ("Baby is still moving!")
So finally around 5AM, I waddled my butt upstairs, and flopped on the couch. My dad came home from walking the dog shortly after, and I managed to gurgle out "Dad....I hurt." and I'm pretty sure he about poo'd himself. :p
And thankfully, he called my doctors office, who had me come up to the hospital ASAP. I'm still thinking I have gas at this point, so I really really didn't want to go, just to be told to take some Gas-X and go home. Haha.
So I get there, and they have me pee in a cup, and throw me on the monitors.
So the nurse comes in, puts me on and IV since I'm dehydrated from being all sickface, (Only my 2nd IV ever. Ow.) and informs me I'm contracting. O_o
So then they tell me they're going to watch the monitors for a while since I came in right at shift change and they're going to have the day shift doctor come in and check me out. And who would have thought, I'm having some hella bad contractions. (For anyone that has been there or knows, the strip that prints out your contraction patterns, they weren't super frequent, but they'd hit the top of the chart, leave a straight line at the top for about 20 seconds, then go slowly back down. Ow.)
So the really nice doctor lady came in and informs me I have a "serious contraction pattern", and give me a quick ultrasound. Turns out baby decided to go head down. Woot.
So doctor lady says she wants to talk to my doctor, who is on at 7, to see if he thinks I need a full on ultrasound.
So she leaves and about a half hour later some random nurse comes rushing in and makes me lay on my side. I find out later it's because somehow when I was laying on my back, my contractions were shoving baby down too far and it was constricting her brain making her heart rate drop. Randomnurse tells me the other nurse will be back in a few to give me another bag of fluids and something to try and stop the contractions.
So about 15 minutes later doctorlady and normalnurse come back, and doctorlady starts explaining what they're giving me for the contractions, and they're gonna keep an eye on it for a little while.
So 20 minutes after taking the first pill, I start puking again, so normalnurse gives me another one. A while after that, doctorlady comes in looking freaked out. She tells me they're going to give me another dose of the stuff, and that if that doesn't work, they're gonna have to do some other tests to make sure I'm in fact just dehydrated, not in labor. And that I could be in labor, and if I am, they have to send me to Medford.
So at that point, I'm like "omg."
Now I'm waiting and waiting and everything seems like it's taking FOREVER. And eventually, they come back, and give me about 10 in the vag tests. (Without lube, cause it'll skew one of the tests apparently...OWWWW.) and then they proceed to check my cervix. (OWWWWWWWWWWWWW) and I'm a bit dialated.
So after the last pill, my contractions slowed, and a couple hours later, pretty much stopped.
so they waited for some test that tells you like "for sure" if you're in labor. That came back negative, so I got sent home. Woot :)


Now I'm supposed to drink 100000000 glasses of water a day and it's terrible :(
But at least it's over with... I hope.

Thing.

http://www.pregnology.com/pregnancy/04/15/2010


Go look at that if you want.

It's fascinating lol